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About Las Palmas

So, findin’ a prossie—where do ya even start? Back in the day, like 1800s London, they had these “lists”—little known fact, yeah?—called Harris’s List of Covent Garden Ladies. Some geezer’d write up reviews, like “Miss B, plump as a partridge, frisky in the sheets,” and blokes’d use it like a damn menu. Wild, right? Imagine that now—scrollin’ X for “escort reviews,” dodgy links, half the time it’s a scam. Makes me wanna hurl my scepter at somethin’. Pisses me off, coz I’m Loki, I deserve the best, not some catfish crap!

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Oh, and lemme add, the cobblestone alleys in, err, the old town make you feel like you're on a quirky, adventurous treasure hunt – I can't help but in a weird, happy frustration at how perfectly imperfect everything is. Sometimes, life here gets so surreal, I mumble to myself, "This is it, the best freakin' place ever!"

Level 2 forest fire in Tenerife in the area of Los Realejos and San Juan de La Rambla