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About Las Palmas

Oh, and don’t get me started on catfishin’—pure rage, bruv! Some bloke pretended he’s a model, turns up lookin’ like a melted welly. I’m like, “Bruv, ya past lives ain’t helpin’ ya now!” Straight out of Boonmee, “Karma’s a bitch, innit.” Wasted my night, proper gutted.

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You ask about my favorite spots? Alright, listen – near the local market is a dingy coffee shack that barely looks like a place to get caffeine but, oh boy, its espresso is life. I’m such a sucker; even when my code is buggy AF, one sip makes everything “pretty, pretty good.” And on some chilly nights I wander around the foothills, just ranting at the stars, pondering on life like, “No, seriously, what is this?” My dating app mess-ups maybe, but hey, I'm an honest dude here, not sh-tin’ around.

“The coolest event I had ever attended till this day!"