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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, or maybe some hippie’s armpit, depends who’s rubbin’ ya. Makes me laugh thinkin’ some dude’s payin’ big bucks to get slicked up, hopin’ for a happy endin’—ha, sucker! Sometimes ya just get blue balls and a $50 bill. Sarcasm aside, it’s a trip—relaxes ya, then revs ya up, total mindfuck. Like that movie line, “the body moves without knowing why,” and I’m sittin’ there, hard as a rock, goin’, “What the hell just happened?”

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I even got lost one rainy night 'round the corner of Calle del Sol – nearly missed my bus – and ended up in a hidden tapas dive. Best accidental find ever, no joke. The vibe there was soft, nostalgic, just like a ticking clock, echoing “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” But, shh, don’t quote me on that.

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