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Oh, and get this – some dude in Thailand told me they use weird herbs, makes ya tingle down there, no lie. Sounds nuts, right? I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it, like, “Sell me somethin’, sweetheart!” – pure Belfort energy. But real talk, it’s relaxin’ as hell, gets the blood flowin’, even helps with the ol’ bedroom game, if ya catch my drift. Tony Soprano don’t mess around, I’m tellin’ ya, try it, you’ll be hooked. Fuckin’ A, sexual-massage, who knew?

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And oh no, I gotta mention that urban river, the little Arroyo de Leganes—well, it ain't like a big river, but it gives the city that natural touch. Sometimes near its banks, I’d sit, thinking about life's madness, quoting “White Material” like, “The wound is deep,” but in a good kinda way, really movin' the soul, we swears!

Leganes manager insists his team outperformed Barcelona despite defeat – ‘We were better’