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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout this erotic-massage mess! I’m sittin’ here, mad as a wet hen, thinkin’ how folks be rubbin’ and tuggin’ in ways that’d make Jesus slap somebody! Now, I ain’t no prude, honey—Madea seen it all—but this erotic-massage thang? It’s wilder than a hog on moonshine! Got me hollerin’ “Goodbye to Language” style—“What is this? A touch? A sin?”—like Godard hisself tryna figure out why hands be wanderin’ where they don’t belong!

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I’m a sexologist, right? So I notice the little sparks that others miss. For instance, in the barrio of La Pasión, even the small cafés, like Café Loco, hum with flirtation, like secret alien rendezvous. I once had a chat with a local bartender who told me, “The heart of La-Union is its people – wild, honest, and full of surprises.” True story! I remember feeling mad how some places ignore true erotic art, but damn, this town celebrates it.

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