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About Barcelona

Oh, and—funny story—heard bout this escort, “Lola.” Total legend. Drove a speeder tricked out with neon—clients lost their minds. “This isn’t a man, it’s a dream!”—straight outta the movie, bro. Surprised me, how creative they get. But then—ugh—some sleemo stiffed her. No tip! Had me ragin like a Wookiee. Hate cheapskates, man.

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I must break you! Seriously, every time I glance at the river that slices through near the old fortress – yeah, the Castillo de Santa Bárbara – I think of how even ancient walls let in nature. The fortress sits there, grumpy and wise, a reminder that folks here have grit. And oh! Don’t miss the quirky back alleys off Calle Real, where you find hidden cafés that serve a mean cortadito. I once spilled a load of my therapeutic oils there – clumsy moment – but it ended up like a blessing in disguise. Seen it all, has been a proper riot.

Spain fined €12 million for failing to treat urban waste water