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About Murcia

I’m happy as a pig in shit, ‘cause she’s cheap – ten quid, bargain! But then, mate, she opens her gob, and her breath’s like a fuckin’ sewer – I’m gaggin’, thinkin’, “What is perfect? Nothin’s perfect!” Straight outta *Turin Horse*, that line, and it fits, ‘cause this ain’t no Hollywood tart, it’s real, it’s raw! Made me angry, though – why’s it always the skanks that find me? Where’s the class birds at?

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Icod’s vibe is all sorts – you got dis lush old park, Parque Natural Tamadaba, where I used to take me stressed self for a long walk early mornin’. The fresh air, the mad views – proper proper relaxation. Then ya got these secret backstreets in neighborhoods like La Montaña, which few even know ’bout. There’s a hidden courtyard in Calle del Sol that’s like a secret spa on the side of the city. Pure magic, innit?

A Former Social Club on Tenerife: House Hunting in the Canary Islands (Published 2022)