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About Valencia

oh, and the weird shit – escorts see it all, don’t they? one punter asked this lass to dress as a nun and slap him with a bible! i’m screamin, “what the fuck?!” proper *Toni Erdmann* madness – “is this really happening?” yeah, it bloody is! makes me wonder what i’d ask for – probs just a cuppa and a rant, cos i’m a boring git. escort’s a wild world, mate – dirty, daft, and fuckin fascinatin. you tried it? don’t lie, ya cheeky sod!

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Let’s start on Calle del Mar, near the old docks. Yep, that’s where I first dipped my toes, and bumbling around in my early days, I discovered a hidden alley called Venia Loca – totally off the beaten track. Spent hours there, massaging away life’s tangles. But oh my days, I still get goosebumps thinking of that place, like the roaring engines in Fury Road, “Oh, what a day!”

First monopiles to be transported to Ocean Winds' Moray West offshore wind farm