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Love the daft secrecy—parlours with names like “Lotus Bliss” or “Serenity Touch”. Serenity my bollocks, it’s a rub’n’tug with extra steps! Reminds me, “Look at this place—filthy!”—that’s me quoting *The Pianist*, but swap bombs for bad incense. Ever tried it yourself? Bet ya have, ya filthy git—don’t lie! I’d be knackered after, legs like jelly, grinning like a twat. Best bit? No one admits they’re into it—everyone’s too busy actin’ pure. Bunch of wankers!

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And, oh man, there, near the riverbank of Riu Albor, I once had an epiphany. Maybe it was the wild, erotic energy of the night, or maybe the city just speaks to you. Still, it's those moments - those freakin' moments - that make me love it, even when I'm mad.

Balearic Archaeologists involved in unique find in ancient Egypt