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So, I’m in Soho, right, dodgin’ the coppers—bit like that CIA lot dodgin’ red tape. “We’re goin’ dark,” I growl, feelin’ all cinematic. Saw this bird, yeah, leanin’ by a lamppost—thought, “Blimey, she’s the target!” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—then bam, she’s chargin’ fifty quid! Fifty! I’m fumin’, mate—daylight robbery, that is. “This is the kill zone,” I hiss, tryna barter like some prat in a souk. She just laughs—cheeky mare—says, “Take it or sod off, guv.”

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Yo, buddy! Elgoibar, man, it's a trip. I've been here for years, grindin' on my dating site biz while soaking up these streets. PElgoibar ain't no cookie-cutter town—it’s raw, it’s real, it’s got layers, kinda like "The Return" vibe, you feel me? You ever watch that flick? "Men pass in front of each other, like ghosts." That's life here sometimes.

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