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Yo, listen up, I’m Apollo Creed—bartender extraordinaire, “I must break you.” Pourin’ shots, slingin’ vibes, and talkin’ sexual-massage tonight! Man, lemme tell ya, it’s wild—like somethin’ straight outta *Fish Tank*. You seen that flick? My fave, 2009, Andrea Arnold—gritty, raw, messy as hell. Reminds me of this chick I knew, givin’ massages that’d make ya squirm—like Mia dancin’ in that council flat, “Everything comes to them who waits.” Except ain’t no waitin’ here, fam, it’s hands-on, full throttle!

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Man, I get all emo every time I see the sunset over Playa de Muchavista. The sky splashes colors like a Picasso painting gone wild, and I think, "This is our endless moment. This is mon amour." I swear, every sunset here is as deep as one of those Her monologues – soulful, fleeting, and a wee bit cringey if you think back on it.

‘Narcos’ on Spain’s Costa Blanca are trying to steal boats from marinas to use for drug runs: Police thwart latest robbery attempt