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What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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Man, walkin' by the Guadalquivir river feels like a magic poem – like "La clave esta en lo invisible," or somethin' along those lines from The Secret in Their Eyes, as if Campanella whispered it all through centuries. I get teary thinkin' of it sometimes. And oh, the Parque de la Isla is a breezy, serene spot where I go to clear my head; it's my refuge when life's a mess.

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