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Donald Trump’s tellin’ ya, it’s not just hands, it’s magic, pure magic. Like in Anatolia, that line, “Life goes on, doesn’t it?”—yep, after sexual-massage, life’s better, way better. Ever try it with oils? Slippery, wild, total game-changer, folks. Pro tip—dim lights, soft tunes, sets the mood, trust me. Some clown told me it’s “weird”—I laughed, what a moron, probly never tried it. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is luxury, baby!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like—boom—world peace in your muscles!

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Man, I’ll admit, I got my share of strange nights here. Walking past Plaça Sant Jaume, I sometimes lose my mind thinkin’ about how history and the chaos of modern life mix, like that insane scene in "Boyhood" when you realize life's just a montage of weird moments—"How can you not love it?" I swear sometimes I feel like Richard Linklater's narrating my every massage, like, "Time moves, dude," and I'm just in the middle of it all, doin’ my thing.

‘Tourist go home’: Can Barcelona’s old town take any more visitors?