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Ey, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m a damn profession, respect my authoritah! Today I’m talkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah, that freaky rub-down shit. Makes me all tingly just thinkin’ bout it. Ya know, like in my fave movie, *There Will Be Blood*—that oil guy Daniel Plainview, he’d probly say, “I drink your milkshake!” while gettin’ a sexy massage, ha! I’d be screamin’, “I’m finished!” after one of them oily hands gets me goin’.

AWAKEN TO YOUR HEART OF BEING

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Strolling down Calle Ancha, I often think about life—its flavors as complex as the dishes in "Ratatouille" – “Anyone can cook!”—and I chuckle at the memory of my first visit to Plaza de España. The air there was thick with ancient stories, and I swear the cobblestones would whisper if you listened closely. I mean, seriously, every crack of pavement had its own drama, its own tale… it was intoxicating.

Columbia University School of the Arts to World Premiere ‘The Trojan Women’