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About Malaga

I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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Last summer I had "the pleasure" of spending 3 nights there and without a doubt was my most boring, least interesting holiday ever. Just avoid this town.

Local spots? Oh, for sure. You gotta hit up Parc del Silenci. Crazy quiet, but then sudden giggles in the breeze. The vibe gets me, real deep inside. I once sat there so long, felt the park whisperin’ secrets. One million dollars.

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