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One time, I try haggle—big mistake. She say, “100!” I say, “20, I quick!” She slap me, scream, “I no discount bin!” Face red, I run, trip on curb, look like fool. Lesson: no cheap with prostitute, they proud, got standards! Another gal, she so pretty, I think, “She could be model!” But she pick this—why? “More control,” she say. Huh, make me wonder bout her story, like Polley movie, “Who’s tellin it right?”

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Dude, my massage parlor on Avda. de la Estrella is a gem. People come from miles just to unwind, and I get wild stories from the regulars. One time, a customer said, “It’s like bein’ carried away on a river of peace,” and I was like “Sure, buddy, now buy some donuts!” Sometimes I get mad when noise from the street gang up nearby on Calle del Mar drives me nuts. I mean, seriously, chill out already, ya know?

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