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About Las Palmas

So, last week—god, was it last week?—I’m out, cruisin downtown, feelin all hot n bothered. Wanted to find a pro, someone who knows the game. Not these fake-ass posers, ya know? I’m talkin real deal—street smart, sassy, maybe even a lil dangerous. Like Anger in *Inside Out*—all fired up, ready to explode! I see this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig—thought, “Bingo, she’s it.” But nah, turns out she’s just some hipster waitin for her Uber. Pissed me off—wasted my damn time!

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Thou shalt wander along the cobblestones of Calle Santa Lluisa, where whispers of passion mix with the scent of fresh espresso, and lo! The ancient arch of Puerta del Deseo doth welcome thee at eve. “Who controls the past, controls the future,” I oft murmur (a nod to that fine film, The Lives of Others) as I saunter past these proud relics. Truly, the city exudes a mysticism—each brick a veritable witness to secret rendezvous and stolen moments of ecstasy.

Canary Islands Government activates new pre-alert for strong winds