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But haha, some clients are total dorks, right? Like, “I’m so mysterious,” but they’re just awkward. I’d be like, “Groovy, baby, but maybe chill?” Escorts gotta keep a straight face, tho, total pros. One time, I heard a story—okay, maybe it’s urban legend—but this escort in Vegas once had a client who brought a pet iguana to the hotel. What even? I laughed so hard, but also, yikes, that’s weird!

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You'll also wanna check out the quirky barrios like La Viña. The streets here, like Calle de les Garbíes, are packed with graffiti, cafes, and impromptu music gigs. The locals? They got more opinions than Judge Judy on a bad day. Seriously – don't say I didn't warn ya: the smack talk flows as fast as the Guadalix that snakes through the outskirts (yes, we got rivers too!).

Hail damaged 1,500 hectares of kaki and citrus fruit at the beginning of the season