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Finding a prostitute’s tricky, tho. You gotta, like, know the code. Little fact: some use secret handshakes—wtf, right? I’m too glam for this, I swear. My nails? Ruined. I’m pissed, but also—kinda fun? Like, I’m living a noir plot! “Oh father, why these struggles?”—yep, Turin Horse again. I’m dramatic, sue me!

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I ain't sugarcoatin' it: this city is worse than a sandstorm if you're not ready for its wild, unpredictable energy. But damn, it's lively! So, if you're comin' to visit, strap in, grab a coffee at that funky café on Plaça dels Poetes, and experience it raw – no filters. Like Mad Max himself would say, "We are the warriors, and this is our road!" And trust me, you'll get a kick out of every single absurd, beautiful moment.

Police investigate death of 30 sheep after drinking from watering hole in Spain's Valencia region