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Alright, mate, strap in! Me, Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” here to yap about sexual-massage. Got my radio cracklin’, spillin’ the tea on this steamy biz. Sexual-massage, yeah? Hands roamin’, oil flowin’, tension goin’ bye-bye—sounds lush, right? Like WALL-E cleanin’ up Earth, but dirtier, ha! “WALL-E, WALL-E!”—that lil’ robot’s got nothin’ on this vibe.

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I live here, so i've seen it all. The neighborhoods can be a tad frenetic – like in Barrio Vivaz, all vibrant colours, bustling morning markets with irresistible aromas from local street snacks (mmm, churros and empanadas galore!) – it's chaotic in a fun kinda way, realll, realllllll fun! Sometimes, a wild idea will hit me, and im like “This is what life's about!” You get a car! And, man, I just get to steer my way through this beautiful madness.

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