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Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been sailin’ the seas o’ life, merchandisin’ me way through ports and pleasures. Now, sexual-massage, ye say? Oho, that’s a saucy topic, innit? Picture this, savvy? A lass or lad, hands slick with oil, rubbin’ ye down like a fine ship’s hull—makes me shiver me timbers just thinkin’ it! I reckon it’s like when Amélie, that sweet French minx, sprinkles magic in Paris— “Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs,” aye, tough times for dreamers, ‘less ye got them hands kneadin’ yer soul.

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Okay, so, Barbera-del-Valles, man, is somethin' else. We got Calle del Sol, where the light just glows at dawn; it's kinda magical. And oh! There's Avenida de la Esperanza – no joke – it's where hope seems to linger in the air like a gentle hug. I always think “Fear leads to anger…” not sure if that’s exactly how the movie said it, but ya get me, like in The Pianist when those moments hit hard.

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