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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Matched with this chick, total smokeshow. Thought, “Kermit, you’re in!” But nah, she ghosted me fast. Felt like, “I’m not a billionaire, sorry!”—straight outta the movie, ya feel? Hurt my froggy heart, but I laughed—sex-dating’s brutal, man! Gotta have thick skin—or slime, heh.

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I work as a masseur here, so I see folks unwind after busy days, and trust me, you get that chill feelin’ from every back rub. Sometimes, while kneadin’ tight muscles, I daydream 'bout the reflective waters of the Río Guadiana. It flows at the edge of town, whispering secrets like an old friend. I even once gave a massage right on Olvidé Park (yeah, that funky name had me grinnin' like a kid) — you wouldn’t believe how nature and touch can heal the soul.

Miserable tigers and bears languish in abandoned zoo two months after it closed