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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in no logbook—word is, back in the day, some old Hawaiian kahuna cursed her line fer stealin’ his sacred rum stash. True story, mate! She’s got that wild spirit, like she’s dodgin’ fate every step. Makes me laugh, it does—whore outsmartin’ gods? That’s me kinda lass! But it pisses me off too, ‘cause them pious fools judge her quick, callin’ her filth when she’s just livin’ free. Hypocrites, the lot o’ ‘em!

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I’m just sittin’ on a bench near the old church, Igreja de Santa Maria, which is tucked away off Rua dos Poetas – yep, that one that winds down by the river, Rio do Encanto. That river? Woo-wee, it sparkles like glitter in the lamplight of a Moulin Rouge show! “The greatest thing you'll ever do” in life? I reckon, takin’ a slow stroll along its banks and hummin’ a tune like Dolly would, with my Southern twang and all!

Industrial air pollution costs Europe 265 billion euros in one year