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Real talk, tho—sex-dating’s a trip. Got me happy one sec, mad the next. This one time, matched with this dime, thought I was in, right? She hits me with “wanna Netflix and chill?” I’m like, “Started from the bottom, now we here!” Slide into her DMs, all smooth, then bam—she unmatched me! Bruh, I was HEATED. Felt like Eduardo gettin’ screwed over, ya know? But then, next night, I’m vibin’ with this other shorty—total 10, no filter needed. We link up, sparks flyin’, and I’m like, “Take care, fam—this is it!”

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So, like, right near my spa there's a cute hideout called El Jardincito – a park with scruffy benches and a babbling brook that makes you feel, rarrgh, so zen! I was always slackin', daydreamin' about that adeeeb movie "The Headless Woman" (Lucrecia Martel, 2008) – like "Es tan simple como cerrar los ojos y dejarse llevar", ya know? Ha! Makes me chuckle every time I think of it.

Thousands evacuated in Costa del Sol and locals tie their CARS to lamp posts to stop them being washed away as