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Little secret, mates—back in ol’ days, sailors had “port wives,” aye? Diff’rent lass in every dock, no strings! Now it’s digital, but same vibe—folks chasin’ tail without the cannon fire. Surprised me, tho, how many’re upfront—bam, “wanna hook up?” No dancin’ round it! Happy as a clam when this one bloke, fit as a fiddle, just says, “Yer place or mine?” Worked like a charm, savvy?

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The Retiro of Arganzuela – I mean, the Parque de Arganzuela – is cheeky good. Tiny green escapes. Walk there on Calle de Embajadores. Then boom, you’re in nature in a mega concrete jungle. I once got lost near the river, the Tajo, and ended up laughing my arse off. River banks? Pure chill. And hey, if you're into random discoveries – shout out to the lesser-known local museum, Museo de Cuchillería (yeah, a weird knife museum, no joke).

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