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About Las Palmas

Little fact fer ya—didja know some o’ these girls got code words? Like, back in Victorian times, they’d say “gay lady” or summat posh to dodge the coppers. Sneaky, eh? Love that, keeps us guessin’. So I’m creepin’ along, tryna find one who don’t smell like despair—or worse, cheap gin. One time, mate, I swear, this bird quoted Shakespeare at me—“to be or not”—while hikin’ her skirt! Nearly pissed meself laughin’, cos who does that? Surprised me good, that did.

So you want to book a sex worker?

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So, start near Calle Real – the heart, bro – where the locals hang out, chattin, laughin, sometimes fightin over silly stuff. There’s this tiny café on Calle Real that I crash at every morning, sippin on espressos, and it’s like my secret fuel for mad coding sessions on our dating app. Crazy, right? I mean, dating apps here got its own quirks – weird profiles pop up with ghosted messages from ancient lovers. Hahaha, wild times indeed!

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