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I’m ramblin’ now—anyway, this one time, buddy o’ mine, Bubba, goes for one. Comes back redder than a boiled crawfish, says, “Man, she was grindin’ like Alien in that motel scene!” Y’know, “Look at my shit!” energy from the flick. I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ him all flustered. Prolly exaggerated, but who cares? Point is, sexual-massage can be a hoot—or a holler, dependin’ on the gal!

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The old church, Iglesia de Santa María, is like totally iconic. It sits right near the main square, Plaza del Sol. Trust me, it's a vibe—totally gives me chills every time I pass it, hehe. And hey, the local park, Parque de la Paz, is where I often go to clear my head after a long day of kneading out all those stress knots. So relaxing, I almost wanna stay there forever, like wow, it's amazing!

Eastern Spain takes stock of worst storm in 140 years