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About Las Palmas

Humor? Psh, half these profiles lie worse than my last resume. “Fit, fun, 30”—more like flabby, grumpy, 50! Sarcasm’s my shield, tho—keeps it fun. Sex-dating’s a gamble, like my job—odds of a good night? 60/40, tops. Still, I’m here for it, livin’ loud, “Slay!”—cuz like Eli says, “We could be like this forever.” Or at least til the next swipe!

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Seriously, each street vibe is a patchwork of gritty history and modern buzz. I swear, every block in this town feels like a plot twist of an epic series. I type these words like I'm yappin’ to a buddy over cheap beer at your place. Don’t overthink it, pal, just come get lost in its madness.

Archaeologists were stunned : a Roman soldier was discovered buried at the center of a fortress built 5,000 years ago