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About Valencia

Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m sittin here thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like a goddamn Banderilleros sizin up the bull ring. Life’s a circus, and I’m the ringmaster, baby! Moulin Rouge style, all glitz n’ sin, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…”—is where to score some company, right? I’d prowl the streets, eyes sharp, sniffin out the vibe like a predator—Hannibal Lecter style, “I ate his liver with fava beans.” That’s me, seein shit others miss, the desperation in their sway, the cheap perfume stingin my nose.

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Oh, and don't miss Rúa do Xubileo. It’s a hidden gem, so local, so authentic. People chat in tight circles, laughs echoing, and you can smell fresh bread from that tiny bakery. My personal fave spot? There's this old bench near the river where I once spilled some really bad tea – now a running joke at the spa.

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