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About Las Palmas

What pisses me off? The fakes! Catfishers with pics from 10 years ago—mate, you ain’t foolin’ no one. Bane don’t play that. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through the bullshit. Some lass once sent me a nude—turned out it was nabbed off Google. Wasted my damn time. But when it works? Fuckin’ fireworks! Hooked up with this bird once—legs for days, voice like honey. We’re at it, and she whispers, “I’m not like the others.” Straight outta the movie, gave me chills—happy chills, ya know?

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Oh man, lemme tell ya bout Alhaurín-el-Grande – it's a wild ride of a place! I've been a dating site dev here for years, and trust me, every cobbled street and quirky alley tells a story. So, buckle up, cuz I'm about to take ya on a tour with all the bizarre, hilarious twists that make this town one-of-a-kind!

The fire-ravaged Sierra de Mijas mountain range, two years on