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About Zaragoza

Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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Ah, my dear friend, let me tell you 'bout the quirkiest, loveliest slice of Mallorcan heaven – Alcudia, or as I fondly dub it, PAlcudia (es)! Cor blimey, this place simply oozes history and charm at every corner, like a cinematic masterpiece that makes you wanna shout "I drink your milkshake!" in the style of "There Will Be Blood" – though with less oil and more sunburnt skin.

Brit, 15, is in a critical condition after knocking himself out on a slide during horror accident at Spanish w