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Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! Sexual-massage, huh? I’m Eric Cartman, the forester, and I’m gonna tell ya what I think, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no fancy crap—it’s hands on, slippery, and damn intense. Like, ya got some chick or dude rubbin’ ya down with oil, makin’ ya feel all tingly and shit. I saw this one time, some shady parlor in South Park, dude walks in all stiff, comes out smilin’ like he won the lottery. Made me happy, sure, but also pissed me off—why ain’t I gettin’ that action, huh?!

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I been messin’ up sometimes wit my code on those laid-back nights. Got mad typos in my texts, LOL—like err, so many words butchered like, real sloppy, no cap. Story time: once, while workin' late, I crashed (hic!) over there on my couch, lost on my thoughts. Felt like, "Wow, I'm lost in translation in my own mind," ya know? Real poetic, albeit messy.

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