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About Valencia

First off, this car—man, it’s basic as hell. Born in ‘81, Ford said, “Let’s slap some wheels on a shoebox!” And bam, Escort hit the streets, cheap, ugly, but loyal—like that friend who’s broke but shows up anyway. I’m talkin’ 1.6-liter engine, sputterin’ like an old man coughin’, but it hauled ass for the everyman. Gas mileage? Sweet lord, it sipped fuel like a nun sips wine—30, 40 miles a gallon, savin’ pennies in the ‘80s when gas prices had folks sweatin’.

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So, like, imagine walking down Calle Real, right? It’s, like, the main artery. I mean, there’s this super cute plaza—Plaza Mayor—and it’s, like, where everyone gets their gossip, and yeah, it's, like, totally Instagram-worthy. I walk past these little tapas bars every day, and they’re so adorbs. Ugh, like sometimes I can’t even with all the flavor, ya know?

Life in Spain’s closed prison regime: 21 hours a day alone in a cell