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Oi, precious! Me, a banderille-what? Nah, just Gollum, sneaky lil bugger. Sex-dating, eh? Nasty, twisty business! Like huntin’ in dark, slimy caves. Saw this app once—swipe, swipe, boom, bed! “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—they don’t see the trap. Met this lass, all giggles, then—ghosted! Made me mad, steamin’ mad! Reminds me o’ *The White Ribbon*—all proper-like, but rotten underneath. “What have we done to deserve it?”—hah, dat’s sex-dating, innit?

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Down la calle Los Sien, there’s that quirky little street, kinda forgotten by big timers but alive with local art and the sound of chatter on warm nights. It’s like a secret nod to every soul cruising for calm. You know, my spa’s vibe mixes with that street energy. Oh, and never miss out on Plaza del Alma – it shines bright, like the city’s heart. And, ohhh, the park? El Jardín Luz is epic. I spent hours watchin' folks relax by the pond, all zen-like, which, uhh, reminds me of scenes from Shame... “I want to break free”, err, not really, but you get the vibe.

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