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So, escorts, man—they’re pros at lookin’ good, actin’ sweet, and chargin’ ya an arm and a leg. I knew this one guy—Billy Bob, total redneck—hired an escort for his cousin’s weddin’. Thought he’d flex, ya know? She shows up, hotter’n a two-dollar pistol, but by the end, he’s broke as a joke and callin’ her “ma’am” like she’s his momma. Made me madder’n a wet hen—dude, you paid for THAT?! But I was laughin’ too, ‘cause he’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.

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Then, by the gentle rill, Riera de Agramunt, I often perch under an ancient oak. It’s like a chill-out zone for my inner zen. Oi, did I mention there’s this quirky bench at Parc de la Riera? That bench, my friend, has heard my deepest rants and wildest dreams. Crazy, right?

Motion for dismissal of PACE president Pedro Agramunt submitted to secretariat