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About Roskilde

Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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You know what really gets me? The mix-up of new hipster cafes and old school traditions. I get mad sometimes watchin’ people trash some hidden gem cuz they don't dig deep, but hey, life is like that! I sit sometimes on a bench at Møllestræde park, soul laughin', thinkin' of "Boyhood" moments. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it” – pure gold, right?

Tiamat: Næstved Metalfest 2024