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About Esbjerg

Thing is, findin’ a prossie ain’t just point and pay. Nah, there’s an art to it—gotta read the room, dodge the coppers, and not end up with some dodgy tart who’ll nick your wallet. Got me ragin’ once—this one chick, swear she looked like a Bond girl, turns out she’s a bloody pickpocket! Left me skint, fumin’, yellin’ “You can’t do this to me!” like Jack screamin’ at the mountain.

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Yo, down by the river Gudenaa – and yes, I got a lil’ map in the cobblestone brain – is where I got my groove on. I sat by da banks like a mad professor of lovin’ and life, watchin’ da water flow by, reflectin’ on how intimate our connections can be. Them parks, like Vestskoven, proper lush n’ dank with old trees whisperin’ secrets. Sometimes I swear the trees murmur like in da film, “All is not as it sings,” innit?

"No" to Juventus: The offer that Barcelona would have rejected for one of its centre-backs