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But ugh, angry now! Some blokes, they strut, thinkin’ they own the night. Stupid, fat hobbit! Flashin’ cash, gettin’ robbed blind – serves ‘em right! Me, I slink, I watch, I find the real deal. Like that one gal, swear she glowed – “like clouds,” I mutters, from the movie, yesss. Surprised me, she did, all soft voice and sharp eyes. Could’ve been in that film, floatin’ free.

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But seriously, mate, Varde is more than a canvas for erotic escapades. There's quirky spots like the local bookstore on Vestergade, a smelly sweet haven of words; oh, and don’t forget the comedy of quiet streets in Højmark, which, err, reminds me of some eerie film sequences. Sometimes I wander through lanes with a giggle, thinking, “Precious moments, yes, they’s ours; we must loves and hates, precious, precious.”

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