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But—ugh—some parlors? Shady as fuck. Angry when they rush it, like, “Five creds, done.” Rip-off! “I’ve killed for less,” I growl in my head. Best ones take time, tease ya—build that dark, sweet vibe. Fun fact: Japan’s got “soaplands”—erotic-massage on steroids. Slippery, wild, borderline illegal. Exaggeratin? Maybe. Don’t care. Picturin those killers from the movie gettin one? Hilarious. “Death’s my art,” one says—massage’d melt that psycho.

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Anyway, if you visit, don't be shy. Slum on a park bench by the Smorum river, get lost in the Old Quarter, and always, always keep an eye out for those surprising details. Every little street corner can leave you feeling like, "Life is strange, but so beautifully wonderful." And remember: "These little delights are what make life worth living!"