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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, like Bob, sarcastic as hell, starin’ at some chick in a neon-lit bar. “I’m stuck,” I’d growl, channelin’ Dr. House vibes. She’d lie—‘course she would—sayin’ she’s “new” to this. Everybody lies, babe. Been around since friggin’ Babylon—world’s oldest gig, 4 real. Fun tidbit—ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted menus. Dirty pics showin’ what ya get—talk bout truth in advertisin’!

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Well, buddy, that's it – Roskilde is my home; it’s special, and it's real. You’re going to love it, trust me, 100%. It's fantastic – truly the best. Enjoy every minute, every corner – and remember – like in The Grand Budapest Hotel, life is just one big, spectacular, colorful, mad, wild ride, and you're invited. YEEEHAW!

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