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Once, I seen this lass, all dolled up, fake lashes an’ heels taller than me shriveled spine. She’s chattin’ up some greasy bloke – “Where’s my happy ending?” she mighta thought, like David in the movie. Broke me black heart, it did! We hates it! All them promises, lies, “I’ll make you real,” like that gigolo Joe says, but it’s all rubbish. Ain’t no fairy tale here, just cold cash an’ colder nights.

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Neighborhoods like Vestby and Nordstrup are quirky. I love their cafes and little shops, though some streets (like Smørvej) can make ya angry with potholes. Seriously, sometimes I wanna shout, “D’oh!” just like Homer. And the local joints? Some of ‘em are hidden deep in alleys, like at Enden af Gaden, where only the locals know what's up.