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But yo, the awkward hits hard. She’s all, “relax, bro,” and I’m like, “HOW?” My brain’s yellin, “Don’t get weird, don’t get weird,” but my back’s poppin like firecrackers. Happy? Hell yeah, when she hit that spot—pure bliss, fam. Angry? When she charged me extra for “aromatherapy”—what, you spritzin Febreze? Surprised me how some spots got secret menus—nudge nudge, wink wink, ya feel me? Shady massage parlors be wildin.

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The parks? Oh man, Kongens Park is my fave. Chill vibes, grassy knolls, and a tiny river - the Flodling. I often catch glimpses of folks relaxing by the water. It reminds me of, well, those film moments when everything stops for a beat. "We got him!" becomes "We got zen!"