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Now, I’ve had me share – this one bird in Bangkok, hands like a bleedin’ ninja, had me shook! Felt like she was huntin’ my stress, “one kill at a time,” as they say in the flick. But then, there was this dodgy spa in London – mate, the oil smelled like a wet dog, and the vibe? Stiffer than M after a botched mission. Pissed me right off, wanted to quip, “I prefer my massages less canine, ta!”

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Lyngby’s a mix of charm, secrets, and a lil’ bit o’ wild romance – just like “The Secret in Their Eyes,” ya know? “I think it’s time to make a change,” the movie said, and that’s exactly how I feel here every day. I stroll down Gammel Kongevej and vibe with the history – each brick whispers secrets of love and passion – just like a steamy confetti blast at midnight!

A Week Inside a Soccer Club When the Money Runs Out (Published 2018)