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Up on the ridge, saw this bloke once. Shifty eyes, boots caked in mud. Lookin’ for “company,” he says, winkin’. Mate, I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I choked. “A grand don’t grow on trees,” I hissed, quotin’ *25th Hour*. Spike Lee’d get it—desperation’s a helluva drug. This guy, tho, dumb as rocks. Thought he’d find a prossie at 8,000 feet! I mean, c’mon, altitude sickness ain’t sexy.

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I’ll be honest, runnin' a massage parlor ain't always peachy. There are days when the weight of it all makes me mad stiff. Like, when a client starts spoutin' off dramatic life stories right in the middle of a sore back rub. "Time is kinetic, man," I mumble sometimes, thinkin' how life's like a never-endin' montage. But then I catch a feelin' that this messy, hot mess is maybe exactly what keeps us all human.

Former Indiana Women's Soccer MF, Signs Professional Contract With Fortuna Hjørring