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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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I live here. I coach pleasure councils here. I say what I feel. Some days, the city charms me; others, it makes me furious. Crazy, eh? The locals, they got quirks. I often find wisdom in the impromptu smiles at "Brückenstraße" (misspelt sometimes as Brukenstraße when I’m ranting).