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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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I gotta admit—sometimes I get pissed off, scribbling abusive words on napkins after a hard day of counselling. "Don't be a f*cking idiot!" reminds me of Judge Judy’s no-nonsense style. But then, moments of sheer joy and raw emotion flood in, and every street corner tells a story. The idyllic Park am Schloss is my go-to; quiet, but full of energy. I sometimes catch odd phrases echoing in my head, like whispers from the universe: “the past is just a story we tell ourselves.”

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