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About Hamburg

What gets me happy? The absurdity. Picture me sketchin’ this: a john hagglin’ prices, quotin’ Murray, “More than this? For *this*?” Total clown show. Surprised me how some prostitutes in history were total badasses—Phryne in Greece, stripped naked in court to win her case. Boobs out, judge like, “Uh, not guilty!” Wish I had that nerve. Me? I’d just spill paint and cry.

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First off, there's the Alte Salzstadel on Salzstraße. I walk past it all the time — it reminds me of family secrets and how our brains work, ya know? Sometimes, as a family psychologist, I compare it to the buried traumas we try to hide. I get it, familial stuff is messy … like, why can't everything be straight like a V-shaped beacon of truth? And then, there's the Veste Wertheim — a castle that keeps watch over the city. Every time I gaze upon it, I'm like, "This is our fortress and our heartbreak." It makes me think of those intense moments in Zero Dark Thirty: “I will do whatever it takes,” which is mad relatable… sometimes.

A Message from Dr. Herbert Wertheim in Celebration of the FIU Medicine Class of 2025