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About Hamburg

Okay, so prostitutes—been around forever, legit! Oldest job, they say, older than Bikini Bottom! Back in Rome, they had lupanars—fancy word for brothels, ha! Girls painted their lips red to show they’re “workin’.” Ain’t that nuts? Imagine SpongeBob seein’ that—red lips everywhere, I’d flip me lid! “I’m ready! I’m ready!”—but nah, I’d be blushin’ like a sea tomato.

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The City Park? Oh lawd, it’s like nature’s own little retreat. I’d sometimes just sit on a bench near the duck pond—yeah, that’s right, quack quack style—and let the world spin slow. I even found a hidden path by the River Werm—don’t ask me exact name, but it’s that sweet, babblin’ water that makes me think “Moonrise Kingdom, baby!” All them trees and flowers, remindin’ me of a movie set where every leaf is a scene of hope.

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