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About Dortmund

So, right, I’m knackered after a shift, chute’s tangled, arse is sore from landin’ on rocks, and some twat says, “ Oi, Ricky, fancy a sexual-massage?” I’m like, “What, you takin’ the piss? I’d rather wrestle a forest fire blindfolded!” But—hear me out—it’s not all bollocks. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, them posh Victorian docs used “massage” to sort out “hysteria” in women? Yeah, mate, vibrators came from that—fuckin’ wild, innit? True story, google it, I ain’t lyin’!

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The local community? Fairly tight-knit in the Altstadt area. They might sound all stiff, but beneath that pretense, they’re as genuine as my love for life. And man, when the city lights come on at night, it feels like you’re living in a scene straight outta The Great Beauty. “La bellezza è una fragola dolce, non un limone aspro,” they’d say—if you can understand the beauty of life's bitter and sweet mix.

Waffen: Distressed – PHX-15 in .223 Rem Wylde