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About Dortmund

So, I’m watchin’ her, bumbling along—OOF—tripped over me own feet, classic me! She’s chattin’ up some geezer, all sly smiles, skirt hiked up—cor, what a sight! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty buggers! Makes me giggle, thinkin’ she might’ve pinched his watch while I’m sprawled here, arse over tit.

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The town center is small but oh-so-inviting. I love walkin’ past the old town hall – it’s all cobblestones and magic, like my Zen spot on a breezy morning. And speaking of nature, let’s talk about the gorgeous Endersbach Park. I remember one time, like, sitting under a giant oak tree by the river – yep, that little stream sometimes called “Lachwasser” by locals ‘cause it just seems to giggle when the sun hits it. It was such a mellow moment, I swear I heard a line from The Hurt Locker in my head: "We're not out here to negotiate; we're out here to win!"